Saturday, March 04, 2006

Social Leprosy

It's weird, isn't it, how hard we try to isolate ourselves. I realized this a few days ago, as I got off the bus with a few other people and ran ahead a few meters, so I wouldn't feel the discomfort of walking with other people and not be a part of them. I see them, but we are not a part of each other's lives, not really. And I, like many people, will probably try hard to keep it that way.

I was at a mall the other day with my fiancé, in the food court. Before even getting our food, we saw that there was nowhere to sit. My fiancé hates crowds, and looked at me beseechingly. "Are you sure you can't wait to eat?" I plowed on steadfastly to Subway while he got some barbecued thing.

We looked around, and miraculously saw a little table for two just on the other side of the section in which we were standing. We walked as quickly as we could with our trays, each going around in a separate direction, and I got to the table just as this older woman sat down. My fiancé looked at her pointedly while she studiously avoided his gaze, then looked at me standing about ten feet behind her. He walked over to me and in a low voice swore he was going to launch his tray over the railing onto the escalator below. Like I said, he hates crowds.

I ignored him, and after a few harrowing minutes we saw another table, wedged between two others. We squeezed ourselves in and, disconcertingly, both sets of people on either side of us gave us disgusted looks, as if to say how dare we invade the empty chairs between them.

We began to eat in silence, giving each other significant Looks indicating we should eat quickly to get out of this animal madhouse. About two minutes into our meal the woman to his left said to her two companions, "Let's move this table." They partially stood up and moved the table about six inches away. I glanced to my left at the two surly teenaged girls on our other side, who kept sneaking looks at us as if mortified to be sitting next to two people wearing winter coats and not talking. I think they were upset because I noticed a minute or two later that the table at which we were sitting was connected to theirs, so there was no chance of them moving away.

After finishing our hasty meals, we pushed our chairs back - inadvertently making lots of noise, and once again both sets of eaters glared at us - and walked away. While dumping our garbage, I asked him, "Okay, was it just me, or did you feel like a complete leper too?" He gave me another Look and we hustled out of the feeding trough.

What is it now about this city that you feel like you're doing something wrong when you are just sitting down to eat?

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